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Funny Quotes

It is a very difficult task to make someone laugh. In fact, it is said that making someone cry is much easier than making him laugh. However, our funny quotes collection is guaranteed to add some humor to your boring day. These funny sayings will help you be stress free and forget all your tension for a while. You can also use them to bring cute smiles on the lips of your friends and loved ones. Hope you have a nice time reading the famous funny quotations.

Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Charlie McDowell

My parents are in the business - they're actors - so I kind of grew up on a film set, which was a funny place to grow up.

It's funny: I've always had the analogy of a snow globe, that Hollywood is a snow globe. No, it's true. If you shake it up, you can look at it and really enjoy it. But don't ever go in. Don't ever buy into it and be like, 'I deserve all of this!' because it can go away at any time, so just have a lot of fun.

There's a funny thing about fame. The truth is you run as fast as you can towards it because it's everything you want. Not just the fame but what it represents, meaning work, meaning opportunity. And then you get there, and it's shocking how immediately you become enveloped in this world that is incredibly restricting.

James Brown

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

PewDiePie

I make funny videos of me playing video games, and I share those moments.

Chevy Chase

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Jules Renard

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take.

Emma Roberts

It's funny, having the same name as someone. Me, Emma Watson and Emma Stone, the amount of times I've been called Emma Watson or Emma Stone is so funny. It's just 'cause we're all named Emma. None of us look alike.

Frank Sinatra

I'm for whatever gets you through the night.

Colin Jost

When you're around people who are trying to be funny all day and trying to one-up each other, that's just naturally - if you want to do it - it's going to make you better.

John Krasinski

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.

Chris Elliott

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy.

Danny DeVito

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

Lonliness
Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Adolf Hitler

How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think.

Carrie Fisher

Instant gratification takes too long.

Dakota Fanning

Courtney Love is really cool and funny. I would like to meet Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I think I could play their daughters.

Matt LeBlanc

You can't be funny if you don't have good material.

Good Humor
Trevor Noah

I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them.

Mel Brooks

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Adlai Stevenson II

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.

Bill Watterson

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Tiffany Trump

In person, my father is so friendly, so considerate, so funny, and so real. I have admired my father all of my life, and I love him with all my heart.

Rooney Mara

I'm not at all funny. I can do dark comedy pretty well, but straight-up comedy, I don't know. I'm much darker. I've been like that since I was 3 years old.

Pete Davidson

Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore.

It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'

Women Face Marriage
Lucille Ball

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Home Children

I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. That's all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them.

Grimes

It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art.

I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.

Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

W. H. Auden

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Things Children
Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Donald Trump

You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

Eugene Levy

We went through all the scenes and they became kind of funny and they expanded a little bit and because it seemed to be working so well in the movie, they added a couple of things later on in the movie and that's how it turned out.

Isla Fisher

I think audiences have always wanted to see women in the movies, but every time a movie like 'Bridesmaids' comes out, everyone says, 'Oh how funny, people do want to see women in the movies.'

Jim Carrey

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Colin Jost

Learning to be your natural self in front of five cameras and a silent studio takes time. Trying to be funny under duress is probably a lot like trying to play golf relaxed under pressure.

John Krasinski

Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar.

Jenny McCarthy

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.

Alison Brie

I feel like any time John Oliver is added to something, the comedy is instantly there. He's so funny.

When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Steve Martin

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Isaac Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

Walt Whitman

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

Jean Baudrillard

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Revenge World Children
P. G. Wodehouse

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

Restaurants
H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Dave Barry

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Franklin P. Jones

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day.

Lily Collins

I'm very British at heart. When I come to England, I say I'm coming home, and then it's funny: when I leave England to go back to L.A., I also say I'm going back home.

Clint Eastwood

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Nora Fatehi

It's very funny that I'm being appreciated for my dance moves because when I was young, I was made fun of, as nobody thought I was able to dance.

Fun Dancing

Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.

Colin Jost

Whatever I did, I always gravitated toward trying to be funny. If I was with friends, we were joking around. If I wrote for the newspaper, it would be a humor column. If I acted, I wanted to do comedy.

Humor Newspaper

It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Steve Martin

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Robin Williams

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Joe Rogan

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

Nick Jonas

It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well.

I heard that people were really interested in the new haircut, which I think is so funny. Great haircut, I really like it. It goes great with the time period. And I was super, super, super-happy to have my bangs swept to the side rather than straight in front of me, which I dealt with for three seasons. I'm very, very much done with that.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

People Humor
David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

Dancing
Mel Brooks

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Flying
Steve Martin

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Elbert Hubbard

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

William Lyon Phelps

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Abraham Lincoln

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Good Memory Liars
Clint Eastwood

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Michael Schumacher

You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.

Kate Winslet

It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way.

Try to find someone with a sense of humor. That's an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. You don't want to hide away from a point, because some points are serious, but you'd rather have a discussion that was a discussion, rather than an argument.

Best Humor
Steve Irwin

You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.

Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am.

James Spader

I'm most drawn to characters who are compelling and repellant at the same time, very often right at the same moment, and who are frightening and funny all at once.

Thomas More

Ask a woman's advice, and whatever she advises, Do the very reverse and you're sure to be wise.

Margaret Mead

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Right Gun
Will Rogers

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Laurence J. Peter

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Emma Roberts

I don't really have a type of guy I like. It's just like nice guys, cute boys I mean, ones that are funny.

Milana Vayntrub

Comedy came early. I knew when I was a kid that I was silly, and I knew that I liked people who were funny, but I don't think I knew I was funny. I didn't really think about it.

Jesse Plemons

People can rationalize in funny ways to hold onto their dreams and needs.

People Dreams
Katharine McPhee

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny.

Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

P. G. Wodehouse

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.