Men: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Z
Women: A B C D E G H J K L M N O P R S T V Z

Satire Quotes

Laughter and humor are the integral parts of life, which have the power to make your days more vibrant and lively. In this boring humdrum, it’s fun and mirth that gets our lives rolling. If you love to crack your wit on humorous spoofs, then you must try satire. Satire has the power to attract you with its irony, humor and sarcastic tempo. Enjoy the vigorous and pervasive force of satire with these famous mockery quotations and sayings and have fun.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

But while they prate of economic laws, men and women are starving. We must lay hold of the fact that economic laws are not made by nature. They are made by human beings.

James Madison

The loss of liberty at home is to be charged to the provisions against danger, real or imagined, from abroad.

Ayn Rand

God... a being whose only definition is that he is beyond man's power to conceive.

Henry James

People talk about the conscience, but it seems to me one must just bring it up to a certain point and leave it there. You can let your conscience alone if you're nice to the second housemaid.

Alan Watts

No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.

John Stuart Mill

In all intellectual debates, both sides tend to be correct in what they affirm, and wrong in what they deny.

William Butler Yeats

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.

Gertrude Stein

Considering how dangerous everything is, nothing is really very frightening.

Samuel Johnson

A man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner.

Ambrose Bierce

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Paul Klee

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Carl Sandburg

A book is never a masterpiece: it becomes one. Genius is the talent of a dead man.

Elbert Hubbard

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares.

Laurence J. Peter

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Edgar Watson Howe

All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.

Stephen King

French is the language that turns dirt into romance.

Ulysses S. Grant

I know only two tunes: one of them is "Yankee Doodle," and the other isn't.

James Madison

A popular government without popular information or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both.

Steve Martin

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Virginia Woolf

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

Voltaire

All the reasonings of men are not worth one sentiment of women.

Lewis Carroll

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).

Soren Kierkegaard

How absurd men are! They never use the liberties they have, they demand those they do not have. They have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech.

Marcel Proust

Everything great in the world comes from neurotics. They alone have founded our religions and composed our masterpieces.

Samuel Johnson

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Alexis de Tocqueville

History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies.

Ambrose Bierce

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Don DeLillo

Californians invented the concept of life-style. This alone warrants their doom.

Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Carl Sandburg

All politicians should have 3 hats - one to throw into the ring, one to talk through, and one to pull rabbits out of if elected.

Emo Philips

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

A goose flies by a chart which the Royal Geographical Society could not mend.

Laurence J. Peter

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Edgar Watson Howe

A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.

Adolf Hitler

How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think.

Osama bin Laden

We love death. The U.S. loves life. That is the difference between us two.

Rabindranath Tagore

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Edgar Allan Poe

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Dan Quayle

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.

Francis Bacon

A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.

Voltaire

A witty saying proves nothing.

Joseph Conrad

As to honor - you know - it's a very fine medieval inheritance which women never got hold of. It wasn't theirs.

Thomas Paine

It is not a God, just and good, but a devil, under the name of God, that the Bible describes.

David Lloyd George

Diplomats were invented simply to waste time.

Alexis de Tocqueville

I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America.

Patrick Jake O'Rourke

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

Laurence Sterne

An English man does not travel to see English men.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.

Cameron Diaz

I don't believe you should make fun of anyone but yourself.

Adolf Hitler

Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.

Princess Diana

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?.

Humor Opinion Paradox Compromise
Stephen King

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

Andrew Jackson

It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word.

Francis Bacon

Acorns were good until bread was found.

Soren Kierkegaard

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.

Peter Drucker

People who don't take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.

P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

Ambrose Bierce

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Anatole France

History books that contain no lies are extremely dull.

John Greenleaf Whittier

Tradition wears a snowy beard, romance is always young.

Alexander Hamilton

A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

Robin Williams

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

Napoleon Bonaparte

History is a set of lies agreed upon.

Hillary Clinton

One day after laying a wreath at the tomb of Martin Luther King Jr., President Bush appoints a federal judge who has built his career around dismantling Dr. King's legacy.

Friedrich Nietzsche

After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands.

Jim Morrison

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs

James Madison

All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree.

Dan Quayle

Great American sport. Horseshoes is a very great game. I love it.

Coco Chanel

A women who doesn't wear perfume has no future.

Bill Maher

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Alan Watts

But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know.

Thomas Paine

One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

George Burns

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

D. H. Lawrence

Be a good animal, true to your animal instincts.

Samuel Johnson

A man will turn over half a library to make one book.

Elie Wiesel

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

Ambrose Bierce

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of width.

Dave Barry

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Erma Bombeck

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Franklin P. Jones

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day.

Robin Williams

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Richard M. Nixon

I've never canceled a subscription to a newspaper because of bad cartoons or editorials. If that were the case, I wouldn't have any newspapers or magazine

Socrates

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.

James Madison

The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.

Leon Trotsky

If we had more time for discussion we should probably have made a great many more mistakes.

Dan Quayle

My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.

Voltaire

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Emily Dickinson

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent.

Anton Chekhov

Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.

Alexis de Tocqueville

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.

Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Omar Khayyam

A hair divides what is false and true.

Erich Fromm

Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market.

Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.