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Home: Bill Maher Quotes

Bill Maher Quotes

Talk Show Host
Born On
1956-01-20
Birth Place
New York City
Birth Sign
capricorn
Father
William Maher Sr.
Mother
Julie
Nationality
American
Education
Cornell University, Pascack Hills High School
Media Personalities, Talk Show Hosts

However real-estate baron Donald Trump’s campaign for the 2016 ‘U.S General Elections’ has drawn quite a few eyeballs for all the wrong reasons. His staunch views on the immigrant issue drew flak from numerous people across the globe. Several internet users even retorted to the presidential candidate’s words through social networking platforms. Comedian Bill Maher’s response to the statement issued by Trump was particularly hilarious. "Australia is not sending us its best people," he said. "They’re bringing drugs -- yes, enough for everybody, but still -- they’re rapists -- OK, not rapists, but they do a lot of f*cking -- and I assume some are good people."

In another instance, the host of the ‘Real Time’ show pointed out one good thing about the influential Trump. "Trump [was] the only guy who was honest, He said, 'I don't forgive.' I love Trump for that. He's like, I don't forgive. You f*ck with me, I'm Vito Corleone, I will follow you back to Italy. I will find you in your old age and I will stick a knife in your stomach.'” Well Maher’s disapproval of Trump is not hidden so it was surprising that he had some good words to say about the Presidential candidate.These remarks among others landed him in a legal soup with Donald Trump filing a suit against Bill. However it was reported that Donald had withdrawn the $5 million lawsuit.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Bill Maher

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

Patriotism Truth
Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Women
Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Funny
Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Tough History
Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

Death
Bill Maher

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

Patriotism Country
Bill Maher

Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.

Bill Maher

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Politics Time Freedom
Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Funny Disease
Bill Maher

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

Stars Law
Bill Maher

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

Intelligence
Bill Maher

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

People Law
Bill Maher

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.

Bill Maher

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.

People Thinking
Bill Maher

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Greatness
Bill Maher

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Bill Maher

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

People Country
Bill Maher

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Bill Maher

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest.

Bill Maher

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

People Hatred
Bill Maher

Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.

People Wonder
Bill Maher

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.

World Rest
Bill Maher

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Bill Maher

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Right Things Home
Bill Maher

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

Bill Maher

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

People
Bill Maher

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

Bible
Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Experience Learning
Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Bill Maher

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'

Bill Maher

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.

Right Country
Bill Maher

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

Delivery
Bill Maher

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Bill Maher

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

Bill Maher

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

Fathers
Bill Maher

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

Country Women
Bill Maher

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.

Right
Bill Maher

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Class
Bill Maher

I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

Personality
Bill Maher

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

Fame
Bill Maher

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.

Reality Violence
Bill Maher

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