Looking for famous quotes and sayings by George Carlin? This is where you will find them, including all the sayings by George Carlin

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Quotes By George Carlin

Comedian George Carlin was born on 12th May 1937 AD. An American citizen, George Carlin was born in United States. He was also called George Denis Patrick Carlin and Georgie Porgie, Curious George. George Denis Patrick Carlin was 71 years old when he died on 22th May 2008 AD. In his life Georgie Porgie, Curious George was famous not only for his work but also for quotations and sayings, some of which are quite popular and listed here.

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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.	Tweet
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.	Tweet
Always do whatever's next.	Tweet
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.	Tweet
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.	Tweet
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.	Tweet
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.	Tweet
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.	Tweet
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.	Tweet
Electricity is really just organized lightning.	Tweet
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.	Tweet
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.	Tweet
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?	Tweet
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.	Tweet
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.	Tweet
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.	Tweet
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.	Tweet
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.	Tweet
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.	Tweet
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.	Tweet
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.	Tweet
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.	Tweet

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