Looking for famous quotes and sayings by George Carlin? This is where you will find them, including all the sayings by George Carlin

Quotes By George Carlin

Nationality
:
DOB
:
12-05-1937
DOD
:
22-05-2008

Comedian George Carlin was born on 12th May 1937 AD. An American citizen, George Carlin was born in United States. He was also called George Denis Patrick Carlin and Georgie Porgie, Curious George. George Denis Patrick Carlin was 71 years old when he died on 22th May 2008 AD. In his life Georgie Porgie, Curious George was famous not only for his work but also for quotations and sayings, some of which are quite popular and listed here.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

- George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

- Brain Droppings , George Carlin

Always do whatever's next.

- George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

- George Carlin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

- George Carlin

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

- George Carlin

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

- George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

- George Carlin

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

- George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

- George Carlin

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

- George Carlin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

- George Carlin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

- George Carlin

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

- George Carlin

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

- George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

- George Carlin

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

- George Carlin

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

- George Carlin

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.

- George Carlin

Back to Top