
After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my stand up act constantly. It was a dream gig.

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

I really never had any ambitions to be a stand up comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.