Looking for famous quotes and sayings by Groucho Marx? This is where you will find them, including all the sayings by Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
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