
A smile is a curve that sets things right.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.