Irony Quotes

Apparently, the most difficult feat for a Cambridge male is to accept a woman not merely as feeling, not merely as thinking, but as managing a complex, vital interweaving of both.
Sylvia Plath

I talk to God but the sky is empty.
Sylvia Plath

For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Rudyard Kipling

A building has integrity just like a man. And just as seldom.

Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?

The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane.

He didn't even have the satisfaction of being killed for civil rights. it had to be some silly little Communist.

It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

America is a model of force and freedom and moderation - with all the coarseness and rudeness of its people.

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.

The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.
Frederick Buechner

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
Jerome K. Jerome

All societies on the verge of death are masculine. A society can survive with only one man; no society will survive a shortage of women.
Germaine Greer

Good God, do you mean to say this place is a club?
F. E. Smith

We in the West do not refrain from childbirth because we are concerned about the population explosion or because we feel we cannot afford children, but because we do not like children.
Germaine Greer

Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
Herbert Hoover

People tend to forget their duties but remember their rights.
Indira Gandhi

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
Tom Robbins

I believe in nothing, everything is sacred. I believe in everything, nothing is sacred.
Tom Robbins

People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up.
Tom Robbins

No society can surely be flourishing and happy, of which the far greater part of the members are poor and miserable.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
Bill Cosby

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.
Dame Agatha Christie

It is not a God, just and good, but a devil, under the name of God, that the Bible describes.

One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

I don't think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness - to save oneself trouble.
Dame Agatha Christie

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.
Aesop

Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds with the ordinary.

My vocal style I haven't tried to copy from anyone. It just developed until it became the girlish whine it is today.
Robert Plant

Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media.
Noam Chomsky

There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!
Richard P. Feynman

I think I can safely say that nobody understands Quantum Mechanics.
Richard P. Feynman

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
Angelina Jolie

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.
Charles Barkley

I'll probably be punished for hard living.
Tupac Shakur

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
Tupac Shakur

Don't take your toys inside just because it's raining.
Cher

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.

When you blame yourself, you learn from it. If you blame someone else, you don't learn nothing, cause hey, it's not your fault, it's his fault, over there.
Joe Strummer

Yes, it's a man's world, but that's all right because they're making a total mess of it. We're chipping away at their control, taking the parts we want. Some women think it's a difficult task, but it's not.
Cher

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
B. F. Skinner

It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word.

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.