
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.