Looking for famous quotes and sayings by Jon Stewart? This is where you will find them, including all the sayings by Jon Stewart

Quotes By Jon Stewart

Nationality
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DOB
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28-11-1962
Jon Stewart is an Entertainer who was born on 28th November 1962 AD. An American citizen, Jon Stewart was born in United States. Jon Stewart is also called Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz. His birthday falls on 28th November 1962 AD. In his life, Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz is famous not only for his work but also for his quotations and sayings, some of which are quite popular and listed here.

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

- Jon Stewart

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

- Jon Stewart

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is.

- Jon Stewart

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, Who'd you call a faggot?

- Jon Stewart

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

- Jon Stewart

I feel your scorn and I accept it.

- Jon Stewart

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.

- Jon Stewart

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

- Jon Stewart

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.

- Jon Stewart

I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.

- Jon Stewart

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

- Jon Stewart

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'

- Jon Stewart

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

- Jon Stewart

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

- Jon Stewart

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.

- Jon Stewart

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?

- Jon Stewart

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