Looking for famous quotes and sayings by Dave Barry? This is where you will find them, including all the sayings by Dave Barry
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You should not confuse your career with your life.
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to a stoplight and find Falcon drivers who pressed down on their accelerators in 1963 and are still waiting for their cars to move.
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would:nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
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