Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Flowers are happy things.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

- P. G. Wodehouse

He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say when.

- P. G. Wodehouse

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

- P. G. Wodehouse

I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

- P. G. Wodehouse

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.

- P. G. Wodehouse

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

- P. G. Wodehouse

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

- P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Have fun and listen to hip-hop and still have God in your life, without being overbearing, without being preachy.

- P. G. Wodehouse