
Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to.

He unzipped his pants and his brains fell out.

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.

I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority.

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

When God made man she was practicing.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

When I got [my] library card, that was when my life began.

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.

Women need to feel loved and men need to feel needed.

Writers will happen in the best of families.

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.

A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.

A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.

Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.

Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.

Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there.

Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash.

Every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful.

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate.

I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can.

Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful - It's made for the losers.