There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? : Airplane

- Jim Abrahams

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha! : Shrek

- Ted Elliott

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. : Duck Soup

- Bert Kalmar

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. : What about Bob

- Alvin Sargent

Barf: I'm a mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend! : Spaceballs

- Mel Brooks

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. : Dumb and Dumber

- Peter Farrelly

Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.

- Herman J. Mankiewicz

Tomorrow is the big day, so get your rest. No late parties, drinking tequila and trying to get lucky. : School of Rock

- Mike White

I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

- Anonymous

Good morning! And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night. : The Truman Show

- Andrew M. Niccol

All I\'ve ever wanted was an honest week\'s pay for an honest day\'s work.

- Nat Hiken

Albert: I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure, middle aged thing! Armand: I made you short? : The Birdcage

- Jean Poiret

The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. : Love and Death

- Woody Allen

I'm getting sick, you smell like aftershave and taco meat! : Blades of Glory

- Jeff Cox

If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer! : Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

- Jack Bernstein

Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people! : The Man with Two Brains

- George Gipe

It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy. : My Best Friend's Wedding

- Ronald Bass

I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service. : Monty Python's Flying Circus

- Anonymous

Reporter: Tell me, how did you find America? John Lennon: Turned left at Greenland : A Hard Day\'s Night.

- Alun Owen

Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes. : Sleeper

- Woody Allen

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. : Who Framed Roger Rabbit

- Gary K. Wolf

Pugsley: We\'re not shy!rnWednesday: We\'re contagious. : The Addams Family

- Charles Addams

(referring to Apple Computers) 'He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.' : Forrest Gump

- Winston Groom

People here are funny. They work so hard at living they forget how to live. : Mr. Deeds Goes to Town

- Robert Riskin

Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.

- Charlie Chaplin

Disneyland is a show.

- Walt Disney

Hollywood is the only industry, even taking in soup companies, which does not have laboratories for the purpose of experimentation.

- Oscar Wilde

I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said 'We saw your movie.' 'Which one?' I said. He shouted 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?'

- Brad Pitt

If you wanted to torture me, you'd tie me down and force me to watch our first five videos.

- Jon Bon Jovi

This is the way I look at sex scenes: I have basically been doing them for a living for years. Trying to seduce an audience is the basis of rock 'n roll, and if I may say so, I'm pretty good at it.

- Jon Bon Jovi

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

- Will Ferrell

I always watch Dean Martin's show... just to see if he falls down.

- James Stewart

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

- Chevy Chase

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

- Chevy Chase

In the X-Men the women are so strong and sexy! We really kick some male butt!

- Halle Berry

I get mad when people call me an action movie star. Indiana Jones is an adventure film, a comic book, a fantasy.

- Harrison Ford

I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over.

- Ben Stiller

I don't think that Slaughterhouse-Five was successful movie material. In fact, Vonnegut's books mostly I don't feel are movie material.

- Jerry Garcia

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

- Joe Rogan

Comedy. It was just huge in my house. Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all those James Bond movies were highly regarded.

- Mike Myers